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Legal Personnel
Sonya graduated summa cum laude from law school where she was the Editor-in-Chief of the Themis Law Review. She has been named a Super Lawyer every year she has been in practice. Sonya typically replies to emails within five to seven business hours (even if it will just take five minutes to deal with because her time is that valuable).
Founding & Managing Partner
Sonya Nonya
Founding Partner & Professional Student
Dr. Julie Bietz
After completing law school and assisting with founding NBW, Julie immediately reenrolled in the unique "design it yourself" PhD program at DePhoenix Online University where she studies psychology, engineering, and art.
Carrie is the daughter of the late Harry Waxxe, one of the founding partners of the firm.
Carrie's accomplishments include becoming the youngest partner at a top law firm, which she achieved shortly after graduating law school two years ago.
Carrie Waxxe
Partner
Bithanial (Blake) Faskin
Bithaniel is confident. Some, like Carrie, think they are too confident. Professionally, we must respectfully disagree because he knows too many secrets for Linda's repeated threats to mean anything.
Of Counsel
Amy hasn't broken down yet! We keep dangling "partner" in front of her and we may have to give it to her. Caffeine dependency has taken root, but Amy otherwise is seemingly able to handle the stresses of the job, somehow.
Senior Associate
Amy Kirkland
Kate C. Gump
Kate lateralled in to NBW after spending four years at whichever top law firms had the best happy hours. After the great vermouth crash of 2020, Kate learned how to bill time properly. At least, that's what she has told us.
Associate
Paula is extremely excited to continue her legal career at NBW after lateralling in. Her old firm managed to get her to bill 3000 hours her first year. We hope to make as much money off of Paula as possible before her inevitable burnout.
Paula Weiss
Junior Associate
Paul Plimpton, IV
Junior Associate
Paul is beginning his first year at NBW after finishing law school at Plimpton University, where he also received his B.A. in no specific field. He was also a staff member of the Plimpton Journal of Law, which published its sole issue prior to Paul's tenure.
Charlotte regularly assists all our very competent attorneys (but most often Paul and Kate) from getting disbarred. Over the four years she has worked at NBW, she has only had to stave off the regulatory authorities a few dozen times.
Charlotte Bird
Paralegal
Professionals
Chief Financial Officer &
Chief Marketing Officer
Taylor Smith-Rifkind
Dr. Bietz recruited Taylor during an online course involving French Art of the 1700s.
She has repeatedly told Dr. Bietz of her hatred for math, despite being really good at it.
Frank Fried
Definitely a real person and not a projection of self aware AI. They passed the Turing Test on the first try and definitely knows the feeling of love, amusement and whatever else they are supposed to.
Chief Information Officer
Linda. She knows what she does.
Chief Operating Officer
Linda Pillsbury
Terrance (Terry) Dactyl
After a stint in journalism, Terry joined NBW after stumbling upon a great secret and neither party had any choice but for us to hire them.
Chief Investigator
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